It can be very hard to stop thinking about the abuse/rape. Trying to understand it can be confusing and can lead you to think things about yourself that aren’t true.

 Blaming yourself

  • I should have…
  • I should not have…
  • I deserved the sexual abuse because…
  • I cannot go on…
  • I’m not coping…

… The person who did that to you made the choices. You are not to blame. Your reactions were normal reactions in an abnormal situation, and you survived.

Helplessness

  • I cannot go on…
  • I’m not coping…

…By being here today you are coping.

Concentration difficulties

  • Sleeplessness
  • Nightmares
  • Dissociation
  • Confusion
  • I cannot say that word…
  • Nobody will believe me…

…These are normal reactions when your mind is processing trauma. Things will get easier and more manageable.

Difficulty saying what happened

  • I cannot say that word…
  • Nobody will believe me…

…It’s normal to find talking about rape or abuse scary. Take your time. Say it in your own words, in your own way. It’s never too late too talk to someone.

Fear

  • Fear of what people will say
  • Fear if the abuser is still around
  • Fear of not being believed
  • Cyclical, panicky thoughts

…Abusers are able to abuse because they instil a fear of speaking up in their victim. There are people who believe you and want to support you.

Angry thoughts

  • They should have protected me
  • All men are disgusting

…Anger is to be expected after someone betrays your trust or sense of safety. It is healthy, but try and consider who is really to blame.

Self-loathing

  • I’m dirty and used
  • Nobody will ever understand me
  • Nobody will ever love me
  • I am damaged goods

…You are much more than what someone did to you. You have had to cope with something traumatic, and you are still you.

Feeling different

  • Nobody understands

…Everybody is different. Everything that happens to us has the potential to make us stronger.

Want to talk?

From Monday 23 March our two helplines will be combined. Anyone can call either line at anytime.

0808 801 0456

0808 801 0464

Mon and Fri: 11am - 2pm, Tue, Wed and Thu 12pm - 2pm & 6pm - 8pm

These lines are open to all.  Girls, boys, women and men can call either of our two helplines. Trans and non-binary callers  are welcome.

What to expect when you call

Want to talk?

From Monday 23 March our two helplines will be combined. Anyone can call either line at anytime.

0808 801 0456

0808 801 0464

Mon and Fri: 11am - 2pm, Tue, Wed and Thu: 12pm - 2pm & 6pm - 8pm

What to expect when you call

These lines are open to all. Girls, boys, women and men can call either of our two helplines. Trans and non-binary callers  are welcome. 

Listening, believing & supporting